I really cherished my Ramadhan memories during my stay in Bussorah Street. Long before the area was swarmed with retail and food businesses, it was home to me.

Occupying the front half of the pre-war shophouse was an import-export company while my nenek's family occupied the back and upper storey. It was an added confusion weaving through the main door as our family and the office people intermingle.

Since young during Ramadhan, I loved walking along the 5 foot way infront of the shophouses and gorged myself on the sinfully rich aromas of kuehs and food being cooked by its occupants.

Right after Asar prayers, the food will be brought into plain sight infront of each household to be sold. These acts of housewifely ingenuity to help out the family and add some coins into the household coffers for the coming hari raya are now known as 'Bazaar Ramadhan'.

Some days too, my tasked will be to go to the Bai Sarbat stall and get some cold drinks for the buka. All the white bearded Bais was a welcomed sight to behold for a very young me. I was always impressed with their immaculate dressing of white kurtas which were always nicely pressed and did not seemed to be dirty even when doing the 'Teh Tarik' or other drinks all those hours.

How do you wake up for sahur?

In my recurring dreams, especially during this time of the year, I sit salivating before the biggest bowl of the most yumilicious bubur lambuk any mosque can offer. There are generous helpings of lamb pieces with prawns and a sprinkling of celery and crisp fried shallots floating on melting ghee. As soon as the sound of the canons fired from the state mosque is heard, and ignoring any etiquette for berbuka puasa, I’d plunge my spoon into the bowl which had been sitting there tantalising me for the past half an hour. As soon as the rich, creamy taste of the gastronomic delight hit my tastebuds, the dream turns into a nightmare. It leaves a salty, very salty taste in the mouth. At other times, it is a taste not unlike that of raw badly produced belacan, that goes drip, drip, drip right to the back of my throat. And that is when I wake up.
Any Freudian pyschoanalists who happened to chance upon this piece of navel gazing, might be forgiven for concluding that the nightmare has its roots in my childhood. And he/she couldn’t be far wrong.

Growing up in a household with siblings who refuse to grow old, we are forever at the mercy of those more creative and innovative in ways that manage to make others look foolish. Take the month of Ramadan for instance. In other normal households, there are etiquettes as to how one should wake another for the sahur. You wake a person up gently, call out his or her name repeatedly until that person wakes up. But no, not in my household; that tactic is deemed too civilised.

Nursing a stomach full of delicacies Mak had prepared for berbuka, we go to sleep hoping to dream of nice things because we are told that devils and ghosts are locked away for the whole of the holy month. But of course, there are other people that should be locked up as well – people like Abang.

While Mak prepares the sahur downstairs, Pak would wake us up. Gently he would repeat our names in a sing song manner that served to lull us more into deep slumber.

Having failed his mission, Abang is then deployed to use any merciless tactic and device that he could think of in his waking hours. One way is to do a concoction of belacan juice, which he then carefully drips into our gaping mouth. The experience is not unlike eating otak udang, neat. On other days, it would be salt water and that leaves you with a very dry throat that you do have to wake up for a drink. Having succeeded with the mission, he’d go back to the dining table and we’d all be given applauses as we descend down the stairs, hair in disarray, eyes still half closed.

On days when the buka puasa feast proved to be more fatal and caused us deep, deep sleep, Abang would come up with another plan. Armed with a charcoal pencil, he would proceed to work on our faces. Many a times, I have woken up with a Groucho Marx like moustache or a Fu Man Chu one, which ever took his fancy.

I have yet to try these tactics in my own household now. My husband, like my father, would start with a gentle call of the name. He had tried sprinkling water, but the most effective is still to pull off the duvet. Responses range from, “in a minute,” “I know, I will wake up” to “I am not hungry”.

During my more svelte and lighter form, which must be some twenty years ago, hubby used to carry me downstairs, prop me against the sink before proceeding to wash my face with very cold water. Now, a feat like that will break his back.

Sewaktu saya tiba di negara ini untuk memulakan kehidupan baru, saya menemui ruangan Ann Landers dan terus membacanya setiap hari sehingga mendiang meninggal dunia pada tahun 2002. Begitulah bagaimana saya belajar tentang negeri angkat saya ini dan warganegaranya.

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"Bagaimana untuk berjaya dalam menjalinkan silaturrahim”   

    1. Rantaikan lidah; selalu ucapkan kurang dari apa yang ada dalam kepala. Belajarlah cara mengguna suara yang rendah, namun yang boleh memujuk. Cara kita ucapkan sesuatu itu lebih bermakna daripada apa yang kita kata.

   2. Jangan selalu buat janji, dan kalau janji dibuat, tepatilah janji itu namun apa sekali yang terpaksa dilakukan untuk menepati janji tersebut.

   3. Janganlah lepaskan peluang untuk mengatakan sesuatu yang baik dan yang memerangsangkan kepada seseorang dan mengenai seseorang. Pujilah sesuatu yang baik, tidak kira siapa yang melakukannya. Kalau kritikan perlu dibuat, lakukannya dengan cara yang membina, dan jangan sekali secara yang mencemuh.

   4. Tunjuklah minat terhadap usaha, kerja, rumahtangga dan keluarga orang lain. Sama-samalah bergembira dengan mereka yang bergembira, bersedih dengan yang bersedih. Anggaplah sesiapa saja yang anda temui, tak kira apa darjatnya, sebagai orang yang paling penting sekali.

 5. Bercerialah selalu. Janganlah bebankan atau jangkitan perasaan murung kita kepada mereka di sekeliling dengan cara sentiasa mengeluh mengenai sakit pening yang remeh temeh atau kekecewaan yang kecil. Jangan lupa, orang lainjuga mempunyai beban yang ditanggungnya.

   6. Sentiasalah berfikiran terbuka. Bincang tapi jangan bertengkar. Seseorang yang berupaya untuk menunjukkan rasa tidak setujunya tanpa dengan sendirinya menjadi seseorang yang tidak dapat menerima pendapat lain, merupakan seseorang mempunyai daya pemikiran yang sangat mulia.

   7. Biarlah nilai-nilai murni kita terselah dengan sendirinya. Jangan diheret untuk bercakap tentang keburukan orang lain. Jangan galakkan khabar angin. Ini merupakan pembaziran masa yang bernilai dan mungkin merosakkan.

   8. Jaga-jagalah perasaan orang lain. Tak ada gunanya membuat jenaka atau mempersendakan orang lain dan tanpa disangka ini mungkin mengguris hati.

   9. Jangan hiraukan kata-kata tidak baik mengenai diri kita. Ingatlah, orang yang membawa mesej tersebut bukanlah pelapor yang paling tepat di dunia. Bertindaklah secara sederhana supaya tidak ada siapa yang akan mempercayainya.. Saraf yang tidak betul dan penghazaman yang tidak baik adalah sebab-sebab pertelingkahan.

  10. Jangan keterlaluan untuk menerima pujian. Lakukanlah yang terbaik dan bersabar. Lupakan diri kita sendiri, dan biarlah orang lain yang “ingat”. Kejayaan lebih manis dikecapi begitu.

Ann Landers